Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Final Fantasy Smackdown: XII and XI

Alright sorry about that. I got a new job that required me to move to another state, and then I didn't have internet for awhile, and after that was really busy so whoops.

Hooked back up against so should go one update a week from now on. Maybe two if I wind up with more free time than expected.

But anyways I feel bad about the wait, so let's do a two for one today and review the next to games in the list.

So let's start first with....


Final Fantasy XII

Ugh, just saying the game's name makes me want to head desk, and from that you can probably guess my general opinion of the game. I mean where do I even begin? It's like they set out as an experiment to make the game as horrible as possible for the sole purpose of seeing how many fans they could get to desperately cloud their own vision and try to insist it was decent. I mean there's being a fan and there's being blind.

After all it's not the worst Final Fantasy. Oh we will get to that.

But, maybe I'm just being mean, maybe the game actually is somewhat decent once you give it a.... Yeah I'm not even convincing myself.


Okay so first off, let's go with the battle system. Anyone ever played an MMORPG? Notice how the battle system is.... kind of boring, because it needs to be simple enough system to have so many people playing at once without things getting screwed up but hey it's okay because there are loads of other players and you can work up some pretty complex tactics through numbers. Now then imagine if they took out all of the other players, and you were left alone on the map. Also imagine that you set up all your actions in advance, so you just have to go get a sandwich and come back later to see if you won. At least XIII you had to press a button every now and then. I mean it's just.

Okay, okay okay. So the game play isn't the greatest maybe it will have a really good story. So let's look at.... Um..... I... It.... THIS STORY MAKES NO SENSE! The plot is garbage, the characters are unlikable, the catcuars look like killer tomatoes I'm not sure why that last part bothers me so much, but it does. But the worst part of this entire freaking game? It ruined Ivalice. Ivalice is awesome, but this game takes that world and just does everything it can do to grind it to a pulp. I just.... I really hate this game.

The worst part, I actually went into the game expecting to love it. I mean it's Final Fantasy. I'm suppose to be a fan, I hadn't read the reviews yet being an idiot and it just. ARGH! I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE this game! And what the hell is with the bunny girl? Why does it feel like every single cut scene has her randomly take her shoes off and give us a camera focus on them? Did some weirdo on the development team have a bunny girl foot fetish? Everything about this game does something to piss me off to ridiculous levels and ohhhhhhhhhhh I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE this game so freaking much so I'm going to move on to the next one before I get so pissed off I get on a plane to Japan and punch out whoever was in charge of this game. ARGH!



Final Fantasy XI

Okay, I'm going to be honest. I have never played this game, nor do I intend do. I mean, it's an MMORPG, which means it's inherently inferior to other video games. But hey a lot of people seem to like it, so more power to them.

I mean I guess this game kinda sold a lot and....

.....




Final Fantasy XII is this game reskinned and with disguised by an incomprehensible plot isn't it?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh XII that game feels me with so much hate it argh rawerahoi;r wetjh;oiaaijwg;iaehjwgihj;eahgh;aie.










Okay sorry about that, I've had my medicine and all that so I can go back to talking about XI now and stop trying to think about XII.......

I

HATE

THAT

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

ARGH! SCREW IT ALL CAL IS OUT!

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